She must be getting older...

Yesterday Alana was less than well behaved when we went out to eat.  We tried everything we could think of to get her to listen, from bribery to withholding privileges (no videos, no treats, going straight to bed when we get home) and eventually resorted to the last ditch, "If you do not listen mommy is taking you into the bathroom and you WILL listen or..."

She was just completely out of her mind.  She wanted to go back home, and she thought that if she acted out enough she'd get her way.  There was NO way she was going to win, so Ken and I finished our desserts anyway.

Then we get home, and it was like a nuclear meltdown.  We put her in her bed, she'd get out, she'd scream for me or Josiah or just about anything.  Eventually she negotiated getting me to take her to the potty- I think because she knows how badly we wish she was fully potty trained by now.  So I sit her down, and she starts talking. 

Alana:  Mommy, I think I made Ken angry.  (When she's serious, she always calls him by his first name.  SO CUTE.)
Me:  Well, sweetie, you didn't listen very well, did you?
Alana:  I didn't want to.
Me:  And that made Daddy upset, because he wants you to learn to listen to him.
Alana:  I didn't know I would make Ken angry.
Me:  You could have made better choices.  Mommy and Daddy tried very hard to show you how important it was.
Alana:  I'm sorry.  I want to be able to watch a video and see brother.
Me:  If you listened to Daddy you would be able to.
Alana:  I'm sorry.  I didn't want for Ken to be angry.
Me:  Will you try harder to listen?
Alana:  I will.  Can I talk to Ken?
Me:  I'll ask Daddy if he will talk to you.
Alana:  I love Ken.  I want to be his princess.
Me:  You are, sweetie.
Alana:  Pretty please can I tell him?
Me:  Of course.

And she did.  She told him she knew she was bad and didn't listen, and she was sorry and she didn't mean for him to be mad.  The rest of the evening she behaved perfectly (well, with one exception when it got close to bedtime) and she made sure to look at Ken and have him NOTICE her listening.  A few times she even put her hand on his arm and told him she was listening and being good.  It's amazing- because I for one would have expected it to take longer for our emotions to factor into her reasoning, with most kids it seems to be much more about fear of punishment.  Yet, with Alana it is less about the punishment (though she hated it) and more about the fact that she knew how much she'd upset Ken.  She HATED him being angry with her, hated it more than anything else.

I'm so insanely lucky to have the children I do.